I had made a resolution to write every day. To get back into the habit, to rekindle my passion, to study more and share my findings so I may learn from others.
Every day. I said I would write every day.
But then life happened. Or more specifically, the flu.
And my promise to myself got broken.
But that’s OK.
5 years-ago me would have said “well, I f’d up again, guess there’s no point in trying.”
But today me is saying, “every day is a new day, no one else really cares, so don’t be hard on yourself.”
So today I’m here, starting again. Not trying to push myself to write something deep and theological – much as I would love to do that – but rather just sliding back in and letting my fingers express what’s in my brain.
And right now what’s in my brain is…. contentment.
I’m not kicking myself for what I haven’t done. I’m not angry at myself for what I’m not doing.
I have 80s music on the speaker, I have coffee that I haven’t been able to drink since before I got the flu. I’m having some prayer time. I made a meme to post. I have my comfy spot on the couch.
I’m practically at church. And I feel amazing.
We all have rough times. If you’re at a place in your life where you feel you need to push yourself to do anything, where you feel like a failure because you’re not writing or creating or working or cleaning or whatever, please PLEASE don’t beat yourself up.
You can’t fix the past by beating yourself up in the present.
You aren’t going to go in the direction you want to go if you punish yourself for not doing it today.
Enjoy a quiet January morning. Try again tomorrow. Or in an hour.