I fell out of the habit I was trying to foster of writing every day, hoping to spark my creative impulses to actually start writing on more serious topics. And while I have some ideas, I just can’t quite get things going. So, for now, I’ll continue to just rant and ramble in this corner of the blog.
So much going on lately. Long, troll-riddled, discussions on gun control, huge protests, millions of people saying “we need more than door locks and band-aids” to keep our kids safe, whatever the heck is going on with the US government, crazy late-winter storms in the American northeast, I don’t even know what is going on in the rest of the world because the mess here in the US is just so…. loud.
And it’s Easter weekend 2018 and I’m just…. exhausted.
And all the things going on in my personal life, one of my kids moved to Oregon, another is dealing with a hard divorce, another has a custody case in court in a couple weeks….. maybe that’s TMI, but it speaks to my current mental state.
Which, when I let myself go to my default, is a complete shutdown, shutout, and close off. Ignore the world, escape to a fantasy world in a video game, and disappear. Which, in brief sessions is good, therapeutic, and I highly recommend, but only an hour or two. What I’ve been doing is 12-13 hours at a time, completely ignoring the world, my family, and literally everything.
And for that, I must apologize. I haven’t engaged with my friends and family, I haven’t been taking care of my health needs (which is really bad, and potentially life-threatening) and I haven’t been a good person.
But can you blame me? I think a part of each of us just wants to run away and hide from the world, from our problems and bills and life.
But for entire days, not such a good plan.
What do you do when you have the urge to run away?